Life, WTF

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This topic has 18 voices, contains 29 replies, and was last updated by  dogtown 1171 days ago.

July 30, 2014 at 8:37 pm Quote #37515

sickman
(2368)

Hey all. I’ve been away from here for a little while, just getting back into the swing of things. I’ve been on the fence as to whether or not explain why, partly because it is private but also would anybody really care. I guess I made up my mind! Life I’m sure for all has it’s ups and downs all the time. I am no exception. Back in March my wife and I decided to sell our house of 16 years due to the surrounding neighborhoods quality of life declining. Drug busts, robberies etc. In a few weeks we literally found the house of our dreams but had to sell ours fast. As luck would have it, 5 days after it went on the market we got an offer and accepted it. The next month and a half were hectic, stressful, tiring, you name it … with inspections, appraisals and just the waiting. At the same time, my mother who has been fighting breast cancer for a few years started to decline in health. By the start of May we began hospice care for her at her home. It was so difficult to see her that way. Just reduced to being bed ridden with no hope of recovery. Her mind started to fade as the cancer spread throughout her body and to her brain. On May 15 we moved to our new house. My wife, my father, 2 sons and I did all the moving. It was just plane exhausting. When we looked at the house one thing that came to my mind was my mother could finally visit due to there not being stairs to enter the home and there was a first floor bathroom, something our old home lacked. Given her physical condition for the last 2 years she could not climb stairs. Anyway, we moved in on May 15th. I visited with my mother as often as I could. She was only a 10 minute drive away. On the morning of May 21, 8:30 am she passed away. She was 69 years old. My sister and step father were with her, I unfortunately was at work. Things are finally getting back to normal. Myself and my family are extremely happy with the new house. All I can say is it’s just awesome. My mother chose to be cremated and not have a burial plot or anything so we dedicated a garden at our new house to her with 2 rose bushes she and my stepfather bought us about 2 weeks before her passing and a statue of an angel. Anyway guys, that’s it. Thanks for taking the time to read.
Brian


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July 30, 2014 at 8:45 pm Quote #37518

mikeyV
(335)

Congrats on the new home and my condolences for your mom……Sometimes just writing about your expierences and your everyday trials and tribulations, whether they be bad or good can help be a relief to you and sometimes your family. It doesn’t matter whether we read it or not. But…remember you have had dealings with alot of people here over the years and I’m sure that alot of us would do what we could for you and your family, no matter how small….like reading about your life…………
I hope that with a new home, a new start is in the works for you, your family and your dad.
MikeyV


The Ultimate in Van Halen Vinyl

Proud Member Since the First Year– Both VHTrading and the Band


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July 30, 2014 at 10:21 pm Quote #37521

guitard
(7354)

Wow … great happiness and deep sorrow happening at the same time.

Your mom’s passing and what led up to it reminds of how things went for my dad. It’s just my way of looking at … but I try not to get too philosophical about these things. I didn’t ask why or get angry. I just accepted that his time to leave had come and under the circumstances, it was probably for the best for all concerned. Everyone grieves and handles these situations in their own way. Glad to hear things are getting back to normal. And congrats on the new house.


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July 31, 2014 at 2:01 am Quote #37527

PT5150
(5504)

Hey Brian great to see you back here I have missed your input.
Very sorry to here about your Mother.RIP thoughts Prayers to all involved..I said a fare bit in the email I sent you a while ago so I won’t repeat it all.
Love the new house and that VH office..
Great to see you back bro..
:wink:


EDDIE’S fingers aren’t fingers they are muscle-powered pistons that hammer guitar strings to the fretboard with the force of a rivet gun”.


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July 31, 2014 at 5:18 am Quote #37528

cobohall76
(428)

Hey Brian,
Congrats and very sorry for your loss at the same time. I think all of us know each other here real well and can probably consider us family. I would have done the same thing, by mentioning my story. My parents are up there in age and I think about that a lot when I get “the word” if u know what I mean. I know my father is going through a lot of blood tests right now but no signs of danger thankfully. He keeps very healthy. So does my mom. I have a loving girlfriend who I’m hoping to marry soon and a great family that I absolutely love. I couldn’t have asked for a more loving group of people. All of us here on the site are here for ya.

Matt


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July 31, 2014 at 9:04 am Quote #37531

sickman
(2368)

Thanks for the kind words and well wishes guys.
Mike, that is what came over me while typing that out. A somewhat feeling of relief. I tend to bottle things up so having a release is helpful.
That is the way I looked at it too Randy. She had been sick for a long time and quite a few times more or less threw in the towel only to bounce back just enough to exist. The toughest part came during her Memorial service. During the eulogy that is when it really hit my kids to the reality of it. That was tough seeing them cry.
Pete, your emails were appreciated as well as your friendship. It’s always great to hear from you. Thanks.
Matt, you are right, this is like an extended family here. That’s good that your folks stay healthy, it’s so important as they and us get up there in age. My mother was a lifelong smoker and over weight for the last 20 years. A few heart attacks and other cancers never made her change her ways. It really was too bad.
As for our new house I finally have my own office for my Van Halen memorabilia that has been stored away for 20 years. I’ll post some pics later when I get home. For now I do have a few of the house.

 photo House3_zps9dbcc6e5.jpg

 photo House2_zpsc12784d8.jpg


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July 31, 2014 at 9:29 am Quote #37533

cobohall76
(428)

LOVE IT BRIAN!!! Looks very cozy. When I was younger, My dad used to smoke a pipe. I’m the only one in my family I believe that never started smoking. Thank God. It would have been a nightmare to quit. My worst thing right now is soda. It’s not as bad as it used to be. I’ve really cut down. Anyway, I think it was a trip to the dentist my father while he was still smoking a pipe. The dentist brought the word “cancer” up because he saw my fathers gums starting to get bad. After that word came up……………..DONE!! No more pipe. I wish your mom took her health more seriously. She had the support to lean on. Good luck on the hose.

Matt


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July 31, 2014 at 11:11 am Quote #37537

radikal
(3892)

Hey Brian

Sorry to hear about your loss and happy things with new home worked out for you. I also went through a rough time with my dad in March this year as he suffered a heart attack and never recovered. I also kinda erased myself for a while and still today having a hard time moving on but what helped me was reaching out to some close friends and relatives and talk about it which helps the healing process,,,It is a hard part of life to pass through but Randy made a great point on his way was accepting it and moving which is the stage I am presently at the moment…. Glad to see you back Brian!!!

Guy


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July 31, 2014 at 11:40 am Quote #37540

Mink
(2610)

Sorry to hear about loss of your mother Brian. This is a great place to hang with some even better people. Writing about what is going on in your life can be therapeutic for you. It also gives your friends a chance to show their support. Your house looks great. Hopefully it will comfort you and your family in this transitional period. Glad to see you around again.
Matt



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July 31, 2014 at 2:01 pm Quote #37541

VAiN
(2767)

Wow, roller coster of events there. Congrats on the new place and I’m very sorry to hear about your mother.

What part of the country are you in? It looks beautiful there!


Resident dickhead. I will hurt your delicate feelings.


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July 31, 2014 at 2:16 pm Quote #37543

sickman
(2368)

VAiN: Wow, roller coster of events there. Congrats on the new place and I’m very sorry to hear about your mother.
What part of the country are you in? It looks beautiful there!

Thanks Guy, Matt, Matt and VAiN, I live in Connecticut. It’s a 180 from where we did live. We have 2 acres with a stream that runs through the back of the property. Most of it is cleared with some lightly wooded areas around the perimeter. The house is in a pretty nice neighborhood but is secluded from it being 500 feet back from the road. Not a neighbor to be seen from the house. We’ve had a few people just drive up thinking it was a road until they rounded the corner and saw the house. We’ve had black bears come around a few times. Once one of them actually stood on his hind legs with his front paws on the house looking in the kitchen window. Aside from that we’ve had Turkeys, Bobcats, Rabbits and tons of chipmunks in the yard. Some nice little brook trout in the stream too.
The Stream
 photo Stream_zps7589dae4.jpg


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July 31, 2014 at 5:03 pm Quote #37547

cabosanlucas139
(1004)

Brian my thoughts go out to you.
I don’t usually discuss personal issues on the forum but I watched both my Mother and Father In Law die from Cancer within 2 months of each other at the age of 61 and 63 in 2011. My Brother In Law was killed in an accident almost exactly a year later in 2012. My own Father died from a heart attack when he was 43. What I have learned is life is too short for bullshit. Grab every opportunity and see every concert anywhere in the world because you may never get another chance. Live life to the max and I do.
House looks super cool!!!
Rock on dude :-D


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July 31, 2014 at 7:31 pm Quote #37549

sickman
(2368)

That had to be tough to deal with Brian. Belated condolences to you and your family.
Here are some pics of my Van Halen room. Nothing too crazy but it’s finally a place for me to show off my lifelong collection!
 photo DSC01475_zpsab22e5e5.jpg
 photo DSC01531_zpsf973cb4e.jpg
 photo DSC01533_zpsbb73b185.jpg
 photo DSC01534_zps94e4db34.jpg


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July 31, 2014 at 8:21 pm Quote #37552

mrmojohalen
(5430)

Hi Brian – Nice new house & change of scenery. It’s amazing that you were able to sell your other home so quickly. Change is guaranteed in life. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. Everything happens for a reason, whether we understand it or not. I’ve found that it’s good to remember the good times that you’ve had with loved ones that have passed away & forget about how their lives ended, through an illness, etc. Earlier this year, I discovered some old photos of my mom when she was a kid /teenager /young woman. I have my own memories of her, but it was neat to see her in a different way. The energy from those good times still remains & the relationship will always be there. Anyway, some EVH striped patio umbrellas would turn your outdoor deck into party central. :mrgreen:


When you turn on your stereo, does it return the favor?


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July 31, 2014 at 8:38 pm Quote #37554

PT5150
(5504)

Sickman Brian the VH room looks awesome..Love all the stuff on display.
Cabosanlucas139 Brian I knew of some of your family that had passed away but not the rest sorry to hear that.Thoughts & Prayers to everyone involved.
I like your moto of living each day to the max and seeing all the bands in concert you can..I know you have done this a bit.
I question myself a lot before I flew to the US in 2012 to see VH..I think the whole trip including the VIP VH packages came in around $6000.
But to see VH at soundcheck and be front row in LA is something I don’t regret..
Enjoy each day, tell your family members how loved they are and ROCK ON to some of the awesome music we have..


EDDIE’S fingers aren’t fingers they are muscle-powered pistons that hammer guitar strings to the fretboard with the force of a rivet gun”.


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