Van Halen needs a new singer

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This topic has 9 voices, contains 8 replies, and was last updated by  stayfrosty 1791 days ago.

October 12, 2012 at 7:27 am Quote #19710

ron
(8931)

http://guardianlv.com/2012/10/van-halen-needs-a-new-singer/

Van Halen needs a new singer
Written By: Kevin Lang

It looks like Van Halen has broken up again. Now, they won’t cop to it, but when you cancel 2 world tours that have already gone on sale… you are pretty much broken up. We can also assume Roth is the problem. Well, we can assume that Eddie will tell us Roth was the problem. It’s pretty cyclical.

In 1985, Roth was gone, Eddie told us Roth was the problem. Seemed believable.
In 1996, Hagar was gone, Eddie told us Hagar was the problem
In 1999, Gary Cherone was gone, Eddie told us Cherone was the problem
In 2005, Hagar was back and now gone again. You know the answer
In 2008, Roth was back and then gone again. You know the answer
2012 — here we go again

So, we can assume Eddie will tell us the singer was the problem. Then, we can assume he’ll take another ten years off. Then, he needs a singer. So, who do we get for him? We need someone pretty talented, pretty douchey, and pretty well known.
So, who can we get to sing for Van Halen?
Scott Stapp — He has a very good voice, and seems to be a narcissistic asshole. Ok, he stays in the mix.
Kid Rock — has a good voice, a great image, and is super self important. Is everyone ok with every song re-written about Detroit. Kid Rock stays in the mix
Axl Rose — meets the asshole qualification, and is more than willing to quit a tour mid tour. Hell, mid show. Problem is, Axl is (or certainly was) an incredible singer. Frankly, too good. Man, though, think of the insane drama those two would create
Dave Grohl — good singer. Too nice and level headed, though. Simply would walk away
Kurt Cobain — very good singer, could reach amazing heights of awesomeness with a great guitarist. Downside- he is dead
Billy Corgan — good singer, plenty difficult, knows great guitar work. Ok, he stays in the mix
Micheal McDonald — Had to throw this out, because he is calling me twice a week asking if we have a gig for him. Just that you had to wiki him proves my point on that one
Billy Joel — think of the amazing setlist between these two bands. Getting closer
Steven Tyler — ok, we are getting closer
The winner, then, is Kid Rock


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October 12, 2012 at 7:29 am Quote #19711

mcs5150
(1085)

Well that was quite the stupid article.


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October 12, 2012 at 10:19 am Quote #19714

Wes
(6114)

Yes, I certainly feel dumber after reading that. And, I was already pretty dumb to begin with.



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October 12, 2012 at 10:36 am Quote #19716

sickman
(2368)

Ughh, this guy obviously has nothing better to do. His internet connection must be down and he can’t watch porn so he figured he’d spew this shit.


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October 12, 2012 at 1:20 pm Quote #19721

eruption1962
(1359)

Was this faggot even aware of Ed’s situation?!?! What a Douche…sorry, Wes, I know that we like to save that moniker for your favorite cross-dressing author! :mrgreen:


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October 12, 2012 at 1:23 pm Quote #19722

frankm
(4741)

Although it was stupid there were a couple lines that made me laugh.

ron: http://guardianlv.com/2012/10/van-halen-needs-a-new-singer/
Van Halen needs a new singer
Written By: Kevin Lang

Scott Stapp — He has a very good voice, and seems to be a narcissistic asshole. Ok, he stays in the mix.
Kid Rock — has a good voice, a great image, and is super self important. Is everyone ok with every song re-written about Detroit. Kid Rock stays in the mix
Axl Rose — meets the asshole qualification, and is more than willing to quit a tour mid tour. Hell, mid show. Problem is, Axl is (or certainly was) an incredible singer. Frankly, too good. Man, though, think of the insane drama those two would create
Dave Grohl — good singer. Too nice and level headed, though. Simply would walk away
Kurt Cobain — very good singer, could reach amazing heights of awesomeness with a great guitarist. Downside- he is dead
Billy Corgan — good singer, plenty difficult, knows great guitar work. Ok, he stays in the mix
Micheal McDonald — Had to throw this out, because he is calling me twice a week asking if we have a gig for him. Just that you had to wiki him proves my point on that one
Billy Joel — think of the amazing setlist between these two bands. Getting closer
Steven Tyler — ok, we are getting closerThe winner, then, is Kid Rock


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October 12, 2012 at 4:43 pm Quote #19725

dokkendude
(3018)

I think Spicoli said it best



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November 26, 2012 at 8:56 pm Quote #20703

mdk7691
(305)

Hail Spicoli!


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November 28, 2012 at 2:42 am Quote #20717

stayfrosty
(23)

This guy is a complete tool,and obviously has no knowledge of what’s been going on with VH the past five years.Or their whole career for that matter.


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